My husband and I had a visit for a week last season from my old college roommate who I hadn’t seen in over thirty years. It was her first time in Mexico. Our house has an extra guestroom with bath, so our living situation is pretty spacious. We did have a good time together, enjoying our beaches and restaurants, and playing cards at night. She even said how wonderful it was to share space with me in our home, “just like back in school.”
Now, however, she just called us saying that she had so much fun last year that she has booked a flight down for a whole month! What’s more, she’s bringing her new boyfriend for us to meet! I’ve got to admit I was in shock, but I put up a good front as our friend went on about all we’re going to do together during their visit. When I told my husband after I hung up the phone, he nearly hit the roof, and actually said, “If they move in here for a month, I’m moving out!”
Brus I do like my friend, but we certainly don’t want to have to host them for a month. What do I say, what do I do?
Your friend has wrongly assumed that a month’s visit would be welcomed by you and your husband, and has unilaterally decided to buy round trip tickets. You have every right to feel blindsided and upset.
First I suggest that you honestly evaluate how you really feel about another visit by your friend. Then check in with your husband. Perhaps you are both willing to host a shorter visit by this couple, say a week again, or perhaps not. Then call your friend as soon as possible to let her know what you and your husband can reasonably offer.
I suggest you begin this conversation by telling her that you value her friendship but you and your husband are not comfortable with anyone living for a whole month in your house with you. Depending on what you and your husband have decided, you can offer to help her find another accommodation in Bucerias, for the remaining three weeks, or the full month of their stay. There are many choices of excellent hotels and guesthouses in our pueblo that they would enjoy. After saying this, it is very important for you to just listen to her response. She may understand or she may feel rejected and angry. Either way, you are there to hear what she has to say without judging her or defending yourself. This is important to your friendship.
Despairing, as your friend will now have decisions of her own to make, she will probably need time to consider her options. Whatever is decided, know that you have acted directly and honestly in this matter.
I wish you well,