I’m a little embarrassed to write you, but I thought you might be able to help. I’m a sixty something year old woman, enjoying life in Bucerias with my loving husband. Years ago, I noticed that the skin around my eyes, jawline and neck areas were beginning to sag. Although I’ve tried different facial products to combat this, the drooping has progressed to the point where I don’t even want to look in a mirror!
I’ve confided my dismay to my husband and very close friends. My friends are encouraging me to do cosmetic surgery. One of them has undergone successful surgery from a reputable doctor in Puerto Vallarta, and looks ten years younger. However, my husband is dead set against it, saying that he loves me the way I am and, besides, aging is just a natural process of life. He says he doesn’t want to be married to a “plastic face.”
Brus, I’ve never considered myself vain, but I really want to do something about my appearance. I feel so less confident in public than I used to. At the same time, I’m afraid that my husband will think I am just being conceited and that, if I go ahead and do cosmetic surgery, he’ll be angry and rejecting. Please help me here if you can.
I’m on your side in this issue. Whereas I agree with your husband that we can’t escape the aging process-in fact we’re fortunate to be living long enough to experience aging-we don’t have to reject technology and techniques that can enhance our appearance. We still want to be able to look in a mirror and feel good about ourselves.
Your husband’s concerns seem to stem from a couple of misconceptions about this issue. One is that any type of cosmetic surgery points to a person’s vanity, and the other is that the end result of the surgery makes the person look fake. This may come from seeing the aging Hollywood star continuously cutting, nipping and “botoxing” his or her face and body, resulting in a bland, almost surreal appearance. In fact, a competent cosmetic surgeon is quite able to restore the appearance you once had and want to have again.
My advise to you, Conflicted, is that you consult with the surgeon to go over what changes you’re interested in. Find out all that you can about how he or she would proceed, including costs and the length of recovery time. Also, ask for any references from past clients. Then, if you are satisfied, sit down with your husband and go over all the facts with him. He may disagree again after all, but you are including him in your decision. Remind him, and yourself, that this is your face, and whereas you are willing to listen to other points of view, it is ultimately your decision.
I suspect that, when surgery and healing is over, both you and your husband will be proud of your appearance once more, and you’ll feel confident in public again.
All the Best