I am a supporter of our local Yahoo Group site and have contributed my thoughts there for the past few years. However, a recent entry I posted was attacked mercilessly by one person who shall not be named. This person is in a similar business and has consistently and publicly undermined my efforts and reputation. Now we are at loggerheads over another issue, and our animosity has come to a head. I am burning with anger towards this person, and I’m really afraid I’ll say or do something rash. What am I to do?
Had It Up To Here
Hola “Had It“,
In a small community such as ours, it’s not unusual for people to be “bumping heads” with each other over any number of issues. Who is right and who is wrong is a continual preoccupation of ours. This is really a game we play, perhaps because we aren’t trained to actually step away and see ourselves in the game. In this, we’re not so different from school children fighting over a swing. Our intellectually clever words often stem from emotional immaturity.
Working with emotions is a developmental practice. We each possess a wide range of emotions, from the positive to the negative. It’s unrealistic for us to always be positive, but we can certainly work with negative emotions when they arise. Anger, fear and jealously will naturally arise from time to time, but our work is to actually see them arise without acting on them through words and deeds. This isn’t easy. It takes patience and perseverance to look directly at a negative emotion without feeling overwhelmed and/or lashing out at others. When you practice seeing and accepting the emotion that has arisen, you are gaining what is called “emotional intelligence.” With just a little practice in this way, you’d be surprised at how skillful you can be with others whose emotions run wild.
“Had it“, you need to be the adult who oversees, rather than gets caught up, in this child’s game of emotional entanglement. I suggest you step back from this confrontation and focus on the confidence in the work you do. You may find that your adversary will soon tire of the game as well and, if not right away, that person’s emotional immaturity becomes obvious to all. In time, like the school children who shift their attention from the swing elsewhere, the current adversity you are experiencing will simply dissipate.
Buena suerte and keep in touch,